MUSINGS

we thunk n we plunk n we blew the house full of CO2 and it was just fine, ok? another day we are ok.

a bio: "jacjac believes in questions, dreams, & entropy -- as in: a constant state of expansion & decomposition -- & blurring lines so we can color everywhere (all the time)

a work in progress! a masterpiece!

practice makes

i was as kind as i could be today

i want to be kinder

i was as patient as i could be today

i want to be patienter

i was as honest as i could be today

i want to be more honest

i want to be better able to be honest

i want to be better at a lot

today is a day to learn from

sing love speak flowers (speak love sing flowers)

spooky old dead folks: a walkaround with new friends!

i want to go to

quiet places

i want to sit

in silent wonder

and point to

all the beauty

all around

i want to share

my delight

at every little

delight

and how completely

monumental

each one is

(the little things

are the big things)

(the big things

are the little things)

(it's all big...it's all little...)

i love you goodnight!

it's ok 2 keep 2 urself
a little bit of magic
goes a long way
if u let it work
all the way thru

how are your bones

are they broken or

growing or cracked

are they sturdy or

are they full of

holes or have they

forgotten what

theyre made of

flowers are happiest in the mud, no?

well i am a flower

and i certainly feel muddy

so say goodnight

to the moon

throw a kiss out the window

through the night

into the earth

all the way til tomorrow

(a waking dream is no more real than a nightmare)

peace in the

circle

maybe

what is a house and

what is a home

where am i if not

here (now)

the harder i try not / to be / who i am the faster i will / run to escape / my will / the quicker i will / run / out of air / through water / into fire / who will return me / to earth / whether i writhe / in resistance / or / in rhythm

today as we woke up

snuck away so

quietly

*so as to*

let sleeping dog lie

got coffee so quick

she hardly batted an eye

plums n panda puffs, breakfast of

realistic dreamers

know we need to feed the fire so

we don't grumble to a halt

it's a tricky thing, how sticky lungs get

stretchier with practice

n the way people will say

just what we need if you just ask us

n the magic that will happen if you act like

how we answer matters / every time / n not just when

your boss's boss's boss wants all our data

wellp!

how do i ask people to care

how do people come to care

this is all besides the point

it is not mine to make

anyone anything

it is mine to make

to show

to scream

to point to beauty and magic and

shake the people

the way i have been shaken

to dos day

just joking - a blues day

a mostly confused day

a brew and a bruise day

a please dont refuse day

listen to the news day

a tell jokes n snooze day

a share all the clues day

perhaps: its a new way

to do things that you say

if you know there is (need) danger

and you know you have the power to (help) protect

why wouldnt you?

staring at the blank page before you...THE REST is still unwritten

if we take this literally...can we then write the rest???

it's very hard not to think like the people around us.

it's very hard to not think like the people around us.

it's hard not to

think

like the people

around

us

it's hard to not / think

like the people / around / us

it's hard to

not think

like the people

around us

it's hard to

not think like

the people around

us

it's hard

not to think

like the people

around us

it's hard

not to think like

the people

around us

it's hard to not

think

like the people around us

it's hard to not

think like / the

people around / us

go to bed

you're trying too

hard

the sudafed will

show up in the

morning

reveal itself to

clear eyes

read a book when you're

not tired / maybe when

you wake up / will you ever

wake up / rub your eyes /

maybe / not / scratch your skin

off / maybe / not / blame

yourself for everything /

you're not / the only one

stopping you / is not / that /

simple / bitch !

they grumbled absentmindedly to the sleepy dog at the foot of the bed, and proceeded to quote themself in their planner slash notebook, commenting on their own lack of confidence or comfort in their own perception & experience of reality, and triggering a cascade of questions and curiosities they couldn't quite understand well enough to follow down their own rabbit hole, causing them to wonder if and how one might ever be OK.

hold up,

excuse me,

didnt we do this

already or

before or

yet or

whatever the word is for

when you see

someone

you thought was gone

was over, done with,

out of life or

at least

yours

and then they pass

you moving

in the opposite direction

as if anyone is ever moving

any way but

inward & outward

at once.

i can feel my stomach

at a moment like this

i can see the tired

from inside my own eyes

i can smell the faint hint

of a

dream

creeping / in

up

under

a blanket

or is that just

the heat of my own

ticking

ticking

ticking

countdown

to the next great

devastation

aware of & informed by

it can feel easier to die

than to change

the sun rises

and sets

every day

whether or not

anyone notices

let alone

pays attention

you deserve to live

your most verdant dreams

to paint whenever the mood strikes or

inspiration, to be near

to all that you hold dear

to have love within arms reach

hot tea and cool water, space to play

in the rain, quiet and comfort and

softness and support. ease. de/lish/is/nis.

once upon a time -- the end.

will i ever drink my tea

while its hot

the first time

there are no rules except

the ones we accept

boundaries, as in: no

interaction

if i am not yet

nourished, as in: enough

food, water, rest, as in:

grounded

please do not ask me to

perform

some capacity beyond

my own

let alone

expect it and punish me

for not living

up

to your

imagination

check out

if you need to too

it's been a few

days or lifetimes

we got some needles

and some release

and the hill is

still a hill

a new moon

is for intentions

no? ok so

here we go

honest

humble

thoughtful

curious

intentional

adaptable

playful

grateful

eternal/divine

honest humble thoughtful curious creative intentional adaptable playful grateful eternal//divine

how are we being

who & how we

claim to want to be